From Tim:
I have to admit, I woke up today in a bad mood. I was tired,
I was grouchy, I was weary. Tired
and grouchy after a very hot couple of weeks and just getting over being sick.
Weary from being in such a foreign place. Call it homesickness, culture shock
or whatever you like – I was just ready for ‘normalcy’, whatever that is!
As we stood by the side of the road waiting to catch an auto
to church, I just wanted to go back to bed. A man stopped his scooter alongside of the road – right in
front of us actually – to stare at the kids for a few minutes before getting off
and coming to shake the their hands. I have to admit, I don’t think I was very
gracious to him at first – but he went on to greet us and offer to give me a
ride on his bike down the road to where some autos were waiting for customers.
Although he had stopped to gawk at the white American children, he was gracious
to offer assistance to my family and me. I felt a bit ashamed over my initial
attitude towards him.
As we rode in the auto-rickshaw to church, I stared out,
just wanting to go home. Not home here in India - - home home. I felt weary in every way – physically,
mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I don’t know why I felt this way, I
can’t really explain it, but that’s how I felt.
After we dropped the kids for Sunday School, Karri and I
found our seats for the morning service. We arrived just as they were singing
Above All – one of my favorite songs. The chorus goes like this –
Crucified, laid behind a stone.
You lived to die – rejected and alone.
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me – above all
Jesus came to this foreign world – infinitely different than
His home. He was uncomfortable, un-welcomed, scorned and killed. He came for one
purpose – to die! He knew it would happen, yet He still chose to come and stay
here – and amidst all that He encountered, in the midst of His humiliation and
death – He thought of you and me ~ above all of His circumstances!
I found it difficult to sing along this morning – but as I
listened, my heart was convicted and broken over my attitude. But at the same
time, my spirit was encouraged and strengthened.
What a whiner I was being…not to say that hard things are
not hard, but one thing for sure has been revealed to me over these past
months, I have a strong desire for personal comfort. This comes to light very
quickly in such a foreign place.
My definition of comfort isn’t necessarily possible here.
But, I must not complain – I should not complain. God has provided
for us far beyond what we deserve and far beyond what so many millions and
millions of people around us here know as a reality each day.
After a bit of a rest this afternoon – I can thankfully say
that the weariness has lifted a bit. Yes, I’m still a bit physically tired and
probably still a bit so emotionally as well. But, I am encouraged and
challenged with a different – I pray a more appropriate – perspective of being
here.
He has asked for me to be here right now – for this time. My
prayer is that my attitude would be the same as His – that I will willingly
give up my ‘right’ to my definition of comfort and find true comfort in Him
alone. And, I pray that my focus would be deflected off of myself and onto the
people that we came to love and serve in this place.
Will you pray for me in this manner?
